“It’s not all moonlight and canoes, Renae!”
A work-friend used to say that to me often-jabbing in jest, when he thought I was being a little too pollyanna over things.
Life certainly is not, is it—canoes and moonlight, I mean. It's not always rosy, and fun, and perpetually great and good. There’s real stuff, that hits real hard, and makes life anything but romantic, and fun, and easy.
I’ve been in a tussle the past several weeks.
More like a full-on wrestling match in my heart, and in my mind, and my soul—battling with human emotions of anger, disappointment and discouragement.
I had righteous promptings of where my heart needed to be, but in the middle of it, I also had a whole lot of arrows shot at me.
Arrows that told me I’m not sufficient enough to sit here and write to you about the very God I’m wrestling with.
Arrows that said I’m not good enough to talk about Jesus, when I’m full of my own doubts and discouragement.
Arrows that defined my worthiness.
Arrows that diminished my abilities.
That’s what I’ve been doing the past few weeks—wrestling with the very thoughts if I’m good enough to even be here with you all. I was at a loss with God.
I wrestled with God…
I questioned, and I doubted, and I blamed.
When I realized I’ve been wrong the whole time.
Not in the wrestling, but who I thought I was wrestling with. You see, it finally fell on me, I wasn’t up against God—I was up against satan and his minions. Those arrows weren’t God sent, they were enemy delivered. I just wasn’t paying close attention. I heard lies that sounded like truth. I heard whispers turn into commands. I heard noise that said be quiet.
Quiet…The goal of the enemy, to silence us all of telling others about Jesus.
But, I don’t want to be quiet; I don’t want to be silent. But I also can’t be perfect.
And that’s where the wrestling match took place; the lie that said I had to be perfect to preach. It almost won out. Until a Savior intervened.
And here I am.
Because this isn’t about me, this is about Jesus.
It's for what God wants me to say, and for those whom He wants it heard.
It’s about you.
It’s about you facing the same battles, and the same defeats, and the same doubts, but doing the same—
His wants...your way.
So for right now, for that precious someone who is hearing the same words of being not good enough, not worthy enough, not perfect enough, not…enough—hear me loud and clear—those words are not from God! They are not! God will never, ever, tell us we are not worthy. Ever! He wouldn’t have gone to the cross, if we weren’t.
I forgot this.
I don’t want you to.
I want us to remember, together, the greatness of our Savior.
I want us to know there is a place we can go, when the enemy is trying his best against us; a shield we can tuck into when the arrows start flying. There is a Protector who will protect, when the battle begins.
Because you are worthy. Because you are enough. Because of His love.
"You (Lord) are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." Psalm 32:7
Abba, Father, remind us of Your forever protection over us. It’s what we need; what we seek. Help us push away the lies, to see only Your truth. Give us reminders to know You count us worthy; strength to bear up when we’re told we’re not; wisdom to always know the difference. Thank you Jesus, thank you.